And why it starts way before you walk into McDonald’s
When you walk into McDonald’s (or any fast food outlet as far as I’m concerned,) you have already decided you’re not enough.
Years ago, in fact.
And that’s why it’s so easy to walk up to the counter and punish yourself with the sugar, fat and salt that is served up.
If you valued yourself you would have made other choices. The health food store, the farmers market, something fresh from your own kitchen, but no, here you are, ruining your most important relationship.
You might think you’re treating yourself to something delicious but your body’s saying, “What the hell am I supposed to do with this crap?”
Is this how you treat the one you love?
Your relationship with your body, is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
It will determine the entire course of your life so it’s time to get real about the flesh and bone that you call home.
How Your Relationship Affects…Everything
Let me explain.
Want a better job? You won’t get it if you’re fuzzy and unfocussed because your blood sugar’s a rollercoaster between doughnuts.
If your body’s “off” you can’t even negotiate a pay rise.
Want to attract a partner? Not likely with that extra weight, skin condition or anxiety disorder affecting your self-esteem.
Everything about your body will say, I’m not good enough.
Want to travel? But you daren’t go too far from your docs or your meds, even though you’d love to get off the beaten track.
Can you feel that fear in your cells controlling every move you make?
Your relationship with your body affects EVERY area of your life because you and your body go waaaaay back. Like to the birth canal baby. And the way you think and feel about your body affect how you treat it.
Oh and a little thing called longevity.
So if, like a lotta people, you really want to LIVE and feel energised and ALIVE, but sometimes it’s like your body’s giving up on you, or failing you in some way, maybe it’s because you’ve given up on your relationship with it.
Why Your Relationship is Failing
So often we think we’re hungry but the question is, what are we hungry for?
Appreciation? Respect? Recognition?
Funny how they’re never at the bottom of the biscuit barrel.
Ever ploughed your way through a HUGE bar of chocolate and felt REALLY loved? Nope me neither. Just gross and nauseous which is a clear I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-you, message to your body.
Sometimes taking on that tub of Ben and Jerry’s seems easier than dealing with our own denial.
Rather than look at why we’re not nourishing ourselves — because that can get deep — we anaesthetise ourselves with fast food, alcohol and maybe some recreational drugs on the side.
We feel crap, so we treat our body like crap and it makes us feel crap in return. The cycle perpetuates itself and there goes our relationship with our body.
We’ve been doing it for years. Dumping on our bodies to alleviate our emotional pain. Turning to toxicity instead of trying self-love.
Because if you REALLY loved your body you’d be looking after it.
Your Dream Relationship
Maybe this will help.
Imagine you meet the perfect partner and then, into that magical relationship you pump a load of crap food, judgemental thoughts, criticisms and negative beliefs.
How long would that perfect partner stick around?
Thirty seconds? Maybe.
Yet your body — which IS your perfect partner — hangs on in there, always trying to heal you. Gently sending you symptoms as a nudge to say, “Hey there, I could use a little help.”
Think of anxiety as a request to cut back on the caffeine. Or eczema as a way to let you know your bowel’s blocked, so instead the skin will be used to push out toxicity.
Symptoms you ignore, or medicate away, because you’re not connecting the dots between you and your body.
We treat our bodies like they’ll always be there because, well, they always have been. Here’s how to change that and get a relationship with your body that rocks your world.
Rocking Your Most Important Relationship
I am a body whisperer.
I learned to listen really well when I spent ten years rebuilding myself from serious illness.
(Because if I hadn’t I probably wouldn’t be here.)
Listening to your body means paying attention to those little niggles you keep ignoring but deep down know aren’t right. The ache in your low back and occasional fluttering in your chest mean something. The thinning eyebrows, dry skin and persistent cough MEAN something.
Wouldn’t it be great to know what?
Paying attention is a prerequisite for any relationship but especially with your body. It builds awareness, which leads to investigation and action. Action can re-balance where you’re out of whack. Action can offset disease.
Investing in any relationship gives it a better chance of surviving. Investing in your relationship with your body gives YOU a better chance of surviving. Your body’s only job is to keep you alive. That’s literally all it wants to do.
Where else can you find that kind of commitment these days?
So what about if you tried harder to give your body what it needs?
What Your Relationship Really Needs
In the form of whole, natural, unprocessed, unpolluted foods.
In the form of superfoods, seeds and maybe even some supplements.
Move, bend, stretch, dance or do yoga. Get passionate about how great your body feels when it does what it’s made to do. And that’s MOVE.
You’ve been through some shit so give yourself a break. Chat to a therapist at least once a year and offload the stuff you can’t or don’t want to share with friends or don’t want to burden family with. Lighten your emotional load so your body doesn’t have to store it or use it to produce disease.
R&R every week. Time for just you and your body. Meditate, paint, read, take a long walk, have a massage. Create the space to just be with your body and notice what comes up.
Know your limits. If your body gives you pain it’s telling you to slow down or stop. You have been given the most scientifically advanced piece of kit on the planet to play with. It doesn’t make mistakes. Pushing through pain creates damage you’ll have to undo at a later date.
Growth is essential in any relationship so get informed about when you feel good and when you don’t (hello fast food cravings.) Move towards wellness constantly by choosing foods, thoughts and activities that make you feel energised, positive and most like who you want to become.
Your Ideal Relationship Is At Your Fingertips
Actually it’s everywhere in your body because it IS your body.
Imagine waking up with someone you really LOVE and feeling great every morning. Yep that can be you and your body.
Imagine hanging out with your healthy body every day, feeling energised, healthy, focussed, clear and on purpose.
How grateful would you feel for that kind of relationship?
Pretty happy-for-no-reason-other-than-i’m-here-with-little-old-me-kinda — awesome, right?
You can have this kind of relationship and it can and will change the way you feel about yourself and transform your life.
No more cravings or emotional rollercoasters. Just you and your body in a balanced, happy relationship.
This is a step beyond self-care, this is self-responsibility. Because when you full own and invest in anything it thrives and flourishes. So try rebuilding your relationship with your body and notice how quickly you get results…like less symptoms, less suffering and less self-hating behaviour.
Think I’m Crazy?
Try living without your body. I’ve lived with debilitating illness, where my body did not work properly and honestly, it’s no fun.
You deserve amazing health, you deserve abundant energy and this is one relationship you can always work on. Your body won’t walk out, or refuse to take your calls. It’s always open for dialogue.
You’re stuck with this relationship, so it’s time to get serious. Put the ring on, sign the paperwork, say your vows (I’m worthy of more than junk) and commit.
Then one day, in the not-too-distant future you’ll pass McDonald’s by, and wonder at how, back then, you didn’t realise you were worthy of more. You’ll smile at it, like an ex-boyfriend you’re so glad you never settled down with, and keep on driving. And you’ll know in your heart, and every cell of your being, that the best relationship you’ll ever have is not with someone else, but with your own precious body.